; the stars will light the sky for you

ive got much to say
yet few words come out of me
its contradictive but ..
everything
made me realise that,
she's such an awesome friend
she's there.
she loves God so passionately.
through all the hard times,
i wasnt even there to ask if she was alright
i wasnt there to care
it feels all bad in the end
what happened to the us before
what have i been doing
why havent i been putting in the effort
sometimes, typing emails feel like a must
but i dont wanna feel that way ..
that email may show how much i care
it may show how much i wished
to wanna bring things back
i wished ..
wished that she was here
wished i could turn back the time
but what can i do
i just feel lost
i cant be there to hug her
or to be with her
i wished i could
how i thought things would be
hurts so much
this isnt just an act, its me